#neolursaolsun - #whateverhappens

I did not update the blog for a while.
There were various reasons for that. Some of them are related to the conditions in Turkey and my future projections in the personal level and some of them are related to my residency in Stockholm.

Now, I feel again the mood to share.

The residency in Iaspis become a great opportunity to get away from what was surrounding me physically and my perception in local context. It was amazing to feel the intensity of the discussions that I involved and the feeling of being 'here and now'. The outnumber people that I met during the first month was almost a paralysing experience mix with joy. Most of the time I tried to open conversations on my future plans in Izmir and try to create connections related to that.

Some time later, I figured out that this motivation is not that healthy at all. My physical being here in Stockholm had to carry a heavy space of thoughts and dreams on another place. This separation started to create some difficulties for me some time later. The clash between the feeling to get in action and the fact of being away from the area of action started to stress me up. This classical mood of mine started to blur my perception of now as usual and also started to affect my communication skills plus my productivity.

So I started to think on things that I can do here. Things that are not related to the things that I've been doing until now. Nothing related to NOBON, other events nor Herkes İçin Mimarlık. This was an interesting challenge. And I tried to have long walks as always. Try to avoid to meet more people and just tried to walk without reasons; strolling basically.

Walking while thinking never made things easier for me; always too much information in a constant flow. But writing or drawing afterwards is always a big exploration through thoughts. Confessions, suggestions, action plans...

And now I know; #whateverhappens here, there in Turkey or anywhere else, I will be like this.

Feeling not settled anywhere, always amazed of millions things, always want to go somewhere else when "the moment" comes and again some time later, I will want to go back; to where the word 'back' refers to.

It is never about the places that I am in, it is all about my mindset at the end.
Welcome to my caravan.